Patience is all about waiting without being disturbed

This morning I asked my father how was his pain in the knee that he suffered due to a minor fall a few days back. Glad that he has recovered it quickly in a couple of days and comfortably resumed his morning walks. The day it happened, he was indeed in pain but otherwise also very disturbed mentally. Even though we started with the medication immediately and he knew he will be fine. But things were bothering him that he will not be able to move so independently and it is going to be trouble for others etc and etc.. So today when he was better, I was curious to ask him, if his mental disturbance the other day was worth and what would have helped him to be less disturbed. His answer was patience. 

The dictionary as it says...

patience | ˈpeɪʃ(ə)ns | noun [mass noun]

the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious

Do we really practice patience as it is defined here or we justify our wait-time calling it as patience, while we are so disturbed with random related or unrelated thoughts created in our mind in that context?

This incident made me think about the tools that can help anyone to develop patience in a given situation. After a few random correlations and understanding from past, I was able to come up with these three: Trust or faith, Knowledge or Information, To accept things as is.

Let's start with faith. If I have faith and trust in the person with whom I am in that situation, that will reduce a great deal of disturbance and anxiety in me. For example, if I have trust in my doctor who is treating me, I will be calmer and less disturbed. However, since I am in pain at that point in time it cannot remove my anxiety completely.  So... the next tool then.

The knowledge is the next tool that comes to my rescue to deal with the situation further better. In the same context, if I know the cause of my pain or know that it will get healed with the right treatment or this will go away in some time; help me to be more equanimous. At an abstract level knowledge of "impermanence" that everything is temporary and will go away, this is applicable to pain as well, will make me more tolerant. Still, the pain at that moment is still there which is disturbing me. So.. the final tool then.

Accept the thing as is ... we get disturbed because we relate the things from our bad experience that's gone and projecting the consequence for the future that's yet to come. Being in the present will help to see things as is and accept it. So even if I am in pain or suffering, if I am able to accept it as is, then nothing can disturb me in mind but just the physical pain. As heard, they say pain is in the mind, when my mind is not disturbed, pain can't stay for long as well.

Vipassana from what I have understood from my little practice is a simple meditation technique to develop patience that blends all these three tools.

I am sure there will be many more such instruments that might have helped you to be less disturbed while you were or are waiting ... or being impatient.

These three; faith, knowledge and being in present were my tools to share with you all to be patient. So, next time when you claim to be patient, just give a check to your disturbed mind.  Let me know if these tools helped.

Sound of Silence

On my way to home from office, I usually call my wife to let her know about my arrival. The timings are quite consistent every day. However, one day, since I was not feeling well, I started a bit early for home post lunch and as usual, called her. She immediately said you are on the way home. I was not surprised that she recognised, but it was not usual. It was silence in my car and no background noise, I could have even been in my office cubicle, pantry or in my car like yesterday. All these were possibilities of noise-free zones. But among all these, she picked exactly that I was in my car. So, I was curious to ask her though there was no noise (may consider a silence), how she could recognise that I was in the car. Her answer was a statement triggered me to think deep. She said, "Every silence has got a sound !". The silence in the office is different from silence in the restaurant, is different from silence in the pantry (when I go for late lunch of course when no one in cafeteria :) ).

I experienced our sense of listening to the silence at that moment, other than regular meditation sessions. That's amazing power of awareness which is beautiful.

This very thought made me be more aware of the noise-free zones and able to listen to those subtle differences. Also, it actually means in day to day noisy world any noise free zone becomes or considered silence for us, but it could be still noisy for many.

I would love to hear from others on your experiences of sounds of silence.

Coincidentally my past few week's status message was "Open your mouth only if what you are going to say is more beautiful than silence." -- Buddha